acovie

Category: emotions

Grateful

My life has changed immensely in a short period of time.  What’s more wild is that I don’t even notice it 99% of the time.  Two years ago I was headed in a completely different direction from the place I sit now.  It really is unbelievable how each decision truly shapes your life.  You may not even know it when it is happening or realize until years later but every single decision you make impacts you eventually.

It’s simple, really.  It’s what you are told from childhood and throughout adulthood, but the ramifications are never apparent until you pause.

Take a pause.

When I reflect I recall hearts I broke, people who broke mine, days I thought would surely kill me, and a multitude of great memories.

As I sit here now I am so grateful.

I am grateful for my courage to listen to my intuitions no matter how long it took my heart and mind to agree.   I am grateful for every soul that has touched mine, negatively or positively.  I am grateful for change, for growth, for pain, and for happiness.  I am grateful to love and to be loved.

I am grateful to be alive.

I’ve said it many times and I will say it again,
cheers to change,
cheers to growth,
and cheers to being afraid.
Because at the end of the day it will all be worth it.

Yours,
ACovie

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Cheers to Tears

Sometimes you just need a good cry. The kind that comes from the deep dark patches of your soul filled with all of the pent up things you’ve been attempting to avoid. 

When it happens be sure to determine the reason behind the tears, accept them, and move forward.

There is no growth without reflection. 

Cheers to tears,

ACovie

Shadows & Sunshine

Shadows and Sunshine

I haven’t visited in some time
Likely out of fear
Fear for my reality
The changes
Painstakingly necessary
Undoubtedly unavoidable

This presence has frightened me
The in depth realism
To opening the gates
Again
To what was once bliss
No longer

Within the sunshine
Comes shadows
You can’t appreciate rays
Without some darkness
Oh how I’ve missed you
Warmth of my mind

I welcome your return
and acknowledge
You’ll again leave
and my avoidance
Will reestablish
Until my next awakening

-ACovie

No Satisfaction

I want the elation I know exists
Utmost bliss
The sweetest of sensations
Internal acclamation
The longing is undeniable
Timing, unreliable
Dependent upon stance
Willingness to take a chance
I believe I’m obsessed
It needs to be addressed
Never fully satisfied
What next can be modified?

-ACovie

December 28, 2015

The pages displayed
Septembers past
Time sure flies

Where have I been?
It would appear as if I had blinked
a few months forward
from a few months back

The inevitability
Of losing yourself
From time to time

Why am I lost?
Why can’t I find my way?
The direction is unclear..
I jumped
and I still haven’t landed

-ACovie

Think About It #5

Expression is an essential component of sanity.

-ACovie

Late Night Thought X21

My spirits are beat down. I’m finally willing to admit it. The sleepless nights, indecisive thoughts, and eradic emotions are beginning to make sense. It’s hard to swallow your pride and admit when you’re hurt. It’s easy to mistake these feelings for weakness. 

I’m not weak. I am hurt. I am struggling. And now I’m going to work to change that. 

Consuming late night thoughts you strike again, I’m striking back. 

-ACovie

Happy Birthday

It’s your day
Should I express
My emptiness
By allowing my pride
To step aside

Do I wish you well
Although, not reciprocated
Is this what fate slated?
Wondering what to say
Does it matter any way?

Happy day of birth
To you and all your pride
Perhaps some day we’ll collide
It’s against my better judgement
To deserve this punishment

– ACovie

Now Is the Time

Am I a writer
Because I say I am?
What characteristics
qualify me
To be the image
I believe
To be

With vision
easily clouded
alternate perspectives,
Views, opinions

When is the line drawn
Between where we want to be
And where
others speculate

When do we stand up
For all that we are?

The answer
is now

– ACovie

Fluctuating Feelings

My direction is wavering
Although, this is not uncommon

I set a fire an old life
and planted seeds for a new one
Now I see trimmings are in order

This never ending cycle of growth
At times blissful
Others daunting

I wish I better understood my needs
My desires
I await the day the light bulb stops flickering
And glows continuously
The flame I chase may be out of reach,
but I continue to run towards it
I want so much
And nothing at all

I can never truly make up my mind
The blessing and curse that ensues

Now here I am
lying awake again
Questioning my every move

– ACovie